All right, here we go, my 2nd column. I promise that this one will be just as boring and as useless as the last one, so let the run-on sentences begin. If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to ask if I could rip-off sixguns' idea and have a picture of some tits at the top of the page. The tits don't pretain to anything in this column, I just think that a picture of some tits will brighten everyone's day. If there's no picture of tits, thats cool, I probably wouldn't add them, I'm somewhat of a lazy bastard. But if there is a picture of tits, please don't let it be a disgusting, saggy, wrinkly pair of titties. Because that just isnt right. Funny, yeah. Right, not all. [Your wish is our command. Tits.]
Well enough jabbering, let's all just hope that dday or rippen were nice enough to add a picture of some nice titties up there. Now on to what I usually ramble about:
Beer:
Not too many new kinds to report on this time, been drinkin' mostly Guiness and Sam Adams lately. However, here's a weird tale I'll tell. A couple months ago I woke up and felt like I was getting a cold. Runny nose, headache, fuck, you've all had colds, why am I explaining this? Anyhow, that night I get some Cascade Ale made by the Deschuetes Brewery in Bend Oregon. It was decent beer, apparently caramel malts are used in it and you can sort of taste a little caramel. So I drink this 6 pack and the next day I wake up feeling great. Cured. No cold symptoms at all. Was it all some kind of fluke thing? Probably. Did I discover the cure for the common cold? Probably not. But it was fucking weird.
Grolsch: Pretty good. I'm sure most of you have drank it. If not, if you like Heineken, you'll probably like this kind. (Now that is informative writing.)
Pyramid Beers: I went to some fuckin wholesale, bulk, Costco place and picked up a big case of this shit for a decent price. It had like 4 different varities in it, and all of em were fuckin fantastic. Their seasonal shit was some crazy-assed, dark scotch ale. That was my favorite. 2nd place goes to the India pale ale, very flavorful, if youre eating some hot Catonese food or some other hot shit, this would compliment it very well. 3rd goes to the Heffeweizen, pretty decent, although Blue Moon is better. 4th goes to the Coastline Pilsner, if Budweiser just doesnt have enough flaver for you, try one of these.
Lets see, what next? Oh yeah, I've seen more movies recently than I usually do, so I'm gonna try my hand at being a film critic. Although I didnt see the damn Jesus movie everybodys been talking about.
Movies:
Hellboy: Pretty cool show, I thought. I will admit that I read comics as a kid and have been picking up trade paperbacks of Preacher and Sandman by Vertigo recently. I'll be damned if those arent fuckin great stories though, nerd factor aside. One of the charaters in Preacher is even a kid who tried to emulate Kurt Cobain by shooting himself, but he lived, and got the name Arse-Face because his face obviously ended up looking like an asshole. Anything that makes fun of Kurt Cobain and his fans is cool by me. Fuck, where was I? Hellboy, yeah pretty good. Better than any other comic book movie I've seen, even has some humorous parts, character development, all that shit.
Dawn of the Dead: Also pretty good. Couple good gory spots. Not incredibly disturbing like something like Last House on the Left, but a good zombie movie.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: I just rented this about a week or 2 ago, its an ok remake. Decently disturbing parts and some good gore. The original was definetly better though. This one ended up having too happy of an ending and happy endings arent exactly what I expect from a fuckin g movie called the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. If you want to see a good Evil Dead 2 type of horror movie, where you cant really tell if theyre attempting humor or still going for horror, rent the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Its great in that sense. Hell, Leatherface even falls in love, its hilarious. Beat that, 50 First Dates! (I've never even seen 50 First Dates, but its the only recent comedy movie I could think of.)
Well, it may appear I've been pretty middle of the road on these movies, so I'm gonna set up a stupid rating system from 1-10 to give you all a better idea of my useless opinion. So Hellboy gets an 8, Dawn of the Dead 7and Texas Chainsaw Massacre gets a 6.
Eh, if you wanna read more about movies, sorry, I'm bored of writing about em. Lets go to music.
CDs:
B.O.D., Here Come the Brides: Obviously I'm a bit biased (I really gotta change that screen name), as I am big Crue and L.A. Guns fan, so I think this is a cool disc. Sixx's songwriting and Tracii Gun's guitar, that's a fucking good mix if you ask me. Too bad they couldn't keep Corabi in there, cause his songwriting would've made it even better. Although I think his influence is definetly in "Natural Born Killer". And like rippen said, the styles change constantly in the songs, but thats actually why I like it. Variety is good. Hell if I was 15 and full of cheap beer and anger again, I would probably nominate "Shut the Fuck Up" and "I Dont Care" as number 1 and 2 in the Coolest Fucking Songs Ever List. There is no such list, but dont worry, a list bearing close to the same name will show up in Metal Edge or on VH1 or some shit pretty soon. Only complaints are that the demo of "I Dont Care" was a lot better. It didn't have the guitars that come in and out of focus, and the damn muffled effect on the vocals. Oh, and "Only Get So Far" just isnt a good song. 8.
Clutch, Blast Tyrant: I'm not even gonna bother trying to explain these guys' sound. It's fucking good in my opinion. If you like Fu Manchu, COC, Kyuss, that type of stuff, you'll probably like Clutch This album is a lot more streamlined, and almost over produced, but it still definetly sounds like Clutch. Its also a concept album, and I don't like concept albums, but this one works. Besides, Clutch could do an album entirely made up of Hall and Oates covers and it would be better than 90% of anything else out there. 8.
Damageplan: Shit, I wouldn't even bother. Nu-metal as done by Dimebag Darrell and Vinnie Paul. A few songs are decent, but it doesnt make up for the rest of the crap. Looks like Superjoint Ritual isn't so bad after all. 3, and thats being generous.
Josh Todd, You Made Me: Buckcherry's singer, blah, blah, they were a pretty good band, blah fucking blah. At first I fucking hated this cd, and still do hate couple songs. This guy shouldn't try nu-metal, it just doesn't work and Buckcherry's fans probably won't like it. Anyhow, I basically forgot about this disc for a couple weeks then listened to again and some of the songs are begining to sound good, not all of em are nu-metal. This disc is a conundrum, a paradox, or some shit. It's bad, it's good. Fuck I dont know, but if you buy it and hate it, don't say I didn't warn you. But if you buy it and like it, see I told you so. I give it a 5.
Well thats it for now. Again, this is just my opinion, don't worry about it, don't even think about it. I dont think about yours. But on a nicer note, this is a one hell of site and you all are some cool people. Thanks for wasting your time reading this shit I just wrote. Please ignore the left out words and other typos. And thanks again to dday for posting this bunch of nonsense.
