THE FIZZY ONE GITS ’ER DONE!!!!!
LARRY THE CABLE GUY
Live, May 16, 2004
Wicomico Civic Center
Salisbury, MD
I had never been to see a live comedian before this night. I have my favorites, but when it comes to going out to see a show, I would rather see a good band than a comic. But when word came out that Larry the Cable Guy was coming to town, I had to investigate.
Maybe you know who larry the Cable Guy is from the Blue-Collar Comedy Tour DVD and Comedy Central special. That’s the one where four so-called “redneck comedians” do their thing, amid footage of them raising hell at a shopping mall. If you’ve seen it, you know Larry was the unexpected star of the thing. Old veterans Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engvall ran through the same damn material we’ve been hearing form them for years. You might be a redneck if you still think those are funny after ten years. Heeeeeeeere’s your sign. Ron White, who shared the bill with Larry on some gigs this spring (not tonight though) put in a good, if not overly southern, show as well. But it was the shambling, bedraggled Larry the Cable Guy who stole the show.
Larry’s schtick is to make out like he’s just a bit slow-witted, or “touched in the head,” if you will. (Mama Fizz put it thusly: “He acts like he doesn’t have good sense.”) Whereas Foxworthy and Engvall too often rely on tired observations on married life, Larry is apparently single. And an evening of his poop jokes, retard cracks and other assorted buffoonery should give a glimmer of insight as to why.
The event in question took place at a small theater-type venue, seating perhaps two or three thousand people. Maybe 1,700 came out for this show, however, and I pretty much had my section of seats to myself. All the good seats were bought well in advance, but there were plenty of spaces left toward the back. Sorry to disappoint the uppity assholes who might be sneaking a furtive peek at this review, but the crowd wasn’t especially hillbillyish at all. There wasn’t all that much big trailer-park hair, and only a smattering oc cowboy hats appeared.
The night opened with West Virginia’s Reno Ridgeley. At least, I think that’s his name, it doesn’t say anywhere on my ticket stub, but I believe that’s what he said. This guy seemed to be trying a little bit too hard to be funny and include a little something for everybody. There was some tame family-man fare, some raunchy sex talk, and a trite-sounding sendup to God, country and family. His trademark seemed to be to guffaw hopefully, and say, “Stoo-pid!” As his twenty-minute set wore on, I got the feeling that his laugh was a little desperate, like, “Come on, this is funny, laugh!” However, he did have some funny bits, the best of which came at the very end. It seems Reno’s father-in-law can’t stand him, and once said, “You say funny things for a living? Well, I never heard you say nothin’ funny!” And so Reno came up with the following: “Here’s something funny. Remember that time we [meaning he and his wife] stayed over? And we said we spilled yogurt on your comforter?” Long pause while the unspoken punchline sunk in.
And finally, out came our hero, Florida’s Larry the Cable Guy, dressed like any guy you might see around town here on Delmarva, in jeans and a plaid shirt with the sleeves cut out and a camouflage hat. Larry commenced to regale us with an hour and a half of goofy observations on life, stories of his zany family (one gets the feeling that they’re all a little bit too close) and occasional sprinklings of political commentary. A sizable portion of the material came from his most recent CD, Lord, I Apologize, but there was enough new material to keep the diehard fans satisfied, hopefully.
What’s funny is, I just saw a special on Comedy Central tonight, one week later, that consisted of pretty much the same show I just saw live last week. So if you saw that, then you know what to expect. If not, some highlights:
Talking about his sisters: “My other sister was in labor for 38 hours! 38 HOURS! Man, I give up on a poop after 20 minutes!”
Complaining about fast-food employees who don’t speak English: “You pull into Arby’s and order four Beef ‘n’ Cheddar sammiches, you may as wel sit back and watch the sunset. Them people don’t know the meaning of the word sammich!”
On sponsoring a starving Pygmy: “I got a letter the other day saying the kid I got busted up a bunch of stuff and I gotta pay for the damages! Seven million pygmies and I got the gang member! I oughta fly down there and stick my foot up little Booba-Booba’s ass!”
On shaving his private area: ‘This girl said she wanted me to shave myself down there, said it’d be real sexy. So I done it. Yeah, that’s real sexy, comin’ out of the bathroom with tissue paper stuck all over my nuts!”
And of course the infamous riff on edible panties: “Who thinks up this garbage? Can you imagine sittin’ at home, “Well, whaddya wanna do tonight?” “Lemme eat her shorts!””
Near the end of the night, Larry broke out his rebel-flag acoustic guitar for a little serenade. Luckily, he only got a couple lines into any one song before dispensing the punchline, so we weren’t subjected toa Rodney Carrington-style set of full songs. Then larry told us he hoped we’d heard some new material tonight, and reminded us we were all here to have fun and not offend anybody, and suggested anybody who WAS offended could go home and put a bullet in their head. And the evening was finished off with some of Larry’s trademark analogies, such as:
“Madder than a legless Ethopian watching a donut roll down a hill.”
“More frustrated than Christopher Reeve doing the hokey-pokey.”
“Funnier than a retard eatin’ hot wings.”
“Madder than a queer with tonsilitis on Valentine’s Day.”
There’s plenty more where that came from, but I don’t want to spoil it for anybody. Go see the show or buy the CD.
One thing that was immediately noticeable about Larry’s performance was that he seemed to be getting tired of saying his signature catchphrase, “Git ‘er done!” He put much less energy into it than he has in the past,and almost seemed to be saying it just so nobody could say, “Dammit, Charlie, he didn’t say “Git ‘er done!” tonight! I want my damn money back!” Also, the live show was a little bit raunchier than his CD’s and the BCCT special. Maybe the difference between a PG-13 and an R rating, I would say. On the raunch scale, the CD’s would rate about a 5, the live show maybe a 6 or 6.5. (Jeff Foxworthy would be a 2, the late Jay Hickman a 9.5 or 10.) And yes, I did hear a lot of new material, but then, I didn’t have any of his CD’s at that point (I bought Lord, I Apologize at the show).
So if you saw the Blue-Collar Comedy Tour special and want to know who that Larry guy is, I would recommend going to see him live. Ditto if you’ve heard his commentaries on various radio shows (including Bob and Tom,and John-Boy and Billy). But if you own any of hisCD’s, particularly the most recent, or you saw the same Comedy Central show I did tonight, then you might want to save your money.
Ratings
Reno Ridgeley: 5
Larry the Cable Guy: 7.5
Visit The Website of Larry for more hilarious commentary!
