FIZZY’S CLOSET!
Episode 1
Ahoy, crew members! Welcome to the inaugural edition of Fizzy’s Closet. This is a feature I’ve been wanting to do for a while now, but never got around to. It’s this way: every so often, when I’m having trouble coming up with an idea for an actual column (or just whenever I damn well feel like it), I’ll delve into my CD collection, pull out a few at random, and offer up a few brief reviews. These won’t be as in-depth as the reviews for current releases, assuming I get around to writing any (I swear I will!), but that means I can squeeze up to five albums into one trip to the Closet. In my section of the boards on this fine website, there’ll be a thread where you, the average Fizzbunker visitor, can suggest albums for me to talk about, and please do, because music is one of my favorite things to talk about.
And now, into Fizzy’s Closet!
W.A.S.P.: The Headless Children; 1989 (Capitol)
Rating: 9.0
This, to me, is the perfect W.A.S.P. album. Their previous work was just standard-fare ‘80’s hard rock (although with several absolute classic songs here and there), and for their later material, after 1997’s foray into industrial metal (KFD), the band simply began rehashing previous ideas. The Headless Children has complexity without being overbearing, strength without being too cheesy (or even that cheesy at all, really). An added treat is the fine drumming by Frankie Banali, who didn’t get to show off his talents very well in Quiet Riot, but displays them abundantly here.
There’s really something for everybody here. The album starts with the epic “The Heretic (Lost Child),” although I personally prefer the first part of the song. After an overlong intro, the title track kicks in with a heavy groove and features some of Blackie Lawless’s best singing, before he began using his trademark “Whooooooooooooooooa-oh!” in place of actual hooks. Check out the drumming near the end of the song! There’s catchy, bare-bones hard rock in “Rebel in the F.D.G.” (I did once know what F.D.G. stood for, but damn if I can remember now), and a couple of galloping power-metal tracks in “Thunderhead” and “Neutron Bomber.” (Nice eerie spoken part in “Thunderhead, and also a tasty atmospheric piano intro).
“Forever Free” is a power-ballad in the truest sense of the word (emphasis on “power”) that is saved from sappiness by Blackie’s always-tough vocals and a surprise time-change midway through. Especially emotional are the wordless vocalizations at the end of the song: very effective harmonizing. The song is preceded by a beautiful, mood-setting acoustic instrumental, “Mephisto Waltz.” These days, it’s almost cliché to have an acoustic instrumental (seems like every “melodic death” metal band has at least one per album), but this one still stands as one of the best.
The big single was the Who cover “The Real Me,” and I prefer it over the original. I never was a big Who fan, and freely admit it. Also, I heard the W.A.S.P. version first. Remember the video, with the dude flipping through the TV, and the chick saying “Hey! What’s the matter with you?”
My two favorite songs are both badass biker anthems. “Mean Man” is of course famous for its profane chorus, and has some of my favorite W.A.S.P. lyrics. Extra points to Blackie for managing to rhyme “The Marquis De Sade / I cheat, steal and rob! I lie, when the truth serves better!” I remember playing this song one night in college. I was in an especially rebellious mood, and told my buddy Caveman Dave, “This is MY song!” He listened to some of the lyrics and laughed his ass off. “You? No way! You’re too shy!” Even that rude awakening couldn’t ruin the song for me. But the A-1 primo song for me is “Maneater.” Without even reading the lyrics, you just know it’s about living to ride and riding to live and all the other mythic joys of bikerhood. It’s also the fastest track here, with a riff that almost sounds like ZZ Top’s “Legs” played in double-time. VICIOUS vocals here as well.
This was my first W.A.S.P. album, and I got it in 1995, when I was in ninth grade and on a serious W.A.S.P. kick. “The Real Me” had been one of the first metal videos I saw when my family got cable in the spring of ’89, so I chose this album on that basis, and haven’t regretted it since. Even though I own a few other W.A.S.P. CD’s, this is the one I reach for most often.
Best track: “Maneater”
Worst track: There isn’t one, really. Maybe “Neutron Bomber,” I guess.
Child’s Play: Rat Race; 1990 (Chrysalis)
Rating: 8.5
You might not have heard of Child’s Play, since the band never made much of a splash outside the mid-Atlantic region. Straight-up hard rock from Baltimore. The local rock station, the once-great 98 Rock, hailed them as the Voice of Charm City, and played the hell out of them, as did the station I listened to as a kid on Delmarva. I never heard them played anywhere else, although I was told that they had a video. (The source was very unreliable, and lied about damn near everything else, so I don’t know.) It’s a shame too, because this is a great, no-frills, blue-collar rock ‘n’ roll album. No slick production or paid professional backup singers to croon prettily along. Brian Jack (who left the band about a year after this album was released) tends to shout many of his lyrics, but is capable of fairly melodic singing when he feels like it. I just sat here for fifteen minutes trying to think up musical comparisons for the band, but I’m drawing a blank. Maybe the most rocking of early Tesla, or a very raw and macho Kix (fellow Marylanders), or even some Ted Nugent. But none of those seems totally accurate, and it’s a little of a stretch to say they have a style all their own. Definitely worth tracking down though.
The best songs seem to be concentrated in the first half of the disc, with all of the first five being top highlights. We have the catchy na-na-na chorus of “Day After Night” (the poppiest song here), and the even more infectious title track, with its semi-political, anti-authoritarian message. Both were big hits on regional radio at the time, as was the country-ish acoustic-and-woodblock breakup ballad “Wind.” “My Bottle” is one of my all-time favorite drinking songs, with its swampy beginning building to a steady pounding, like the blood in your head the morning after. Did your girlfriend leave you? Does the world at large confuse and frustrate you? No problem, drink it away! “It’s my bottle / It’s my whiskey / If I want, I drink it all / And nobody / Is gonna tell me / That I can’t drink no more.” And the cowbell-laced opening track probably sums up the band better than any fancy reviewerspeak I could slap on it: “Good ol’ boys, playin’ that good ol’ rock ‘n’ roll!”
Other highlights are scattered through the rest of the album. “Knock Me Out” has a monster riff (perhaps the best on the disc), and “Damned If I Do” features another catchy chorus just made for belting out after a bad day. Probably the best song after the first five, though, is “Bang Bang,” with a badass riff, attitude to spare, and for an extra treat, a hell of a drum solo intro.
Speaking of drums, skinbasher John Allen (now with the punk-pop band SR71, who used to be called Honor Among Thieves and played at some of the same clubs Child’s Play used to frequent) takes on vocal duties on two songs: “Evicted” and “Payin’ Your Dues.” These songs are widely regarded as the worst songs on the disc, and while they’re not terrible, they ARE rather boring and forgettable. I’m guessing this is why most drummers don’t sing more often.
Child’s Play released another album in 1993, with some dude named Ty on vocals, but broke up soon after. Brian Jack continued doing solo shows for the next dozen years after departing, John Allen went on to various local bands before taking the SR71 gig, and who knows about the other two guys, much less the come-lately Ty? They do occasional reunion gigs in Baltimore, however, although Brian has been a no-show for some of them (and I believe has been romantically linked to Jani Lane’s ex-wife, Rowanne.)
I got this tape in late 1990, when Child’s Play did an in-store in a shopping mall in Salisbury, MD. I had heard their songs on the radio, and they were okay, but really, I just wanted the chance to meet a real live band. It was kind of a letdown. I wasn’t really sure what to say, and I was a shy kid anyway. They seemed a little more interested in my aunt and her friend, who took me there, which I suppose is understandable. But still, they signed my poster (which I still have) and my store bag (which I lost somewhere). At the time, I was into more polished, melodic rock, and didn’t really give this album its due. But I rediscovered it for the true gem it is some years later. It’s not something you’d play every day, but every couple weeks, it makes for a hell of a fun listen.
Best songs: “My Bottle,” “Rat Race”
Worst song: “Payin’ Your Dues”
Overkill: The Years of Decay; 1989 (Megaforce)
Rating: 8.5
Ah, Overkill. Forever playing second-string to Megadeth, Metallica, Anthrax and Slayer. Here we have their fourth album, and one of the names that always comes up on those semi-annual occasions when people talk about favorite Overkill releases. If you’re at all familiar with this band, you know what to expect: thrashin heaven! Fast riffs, abundant time-changes, and Blitz Ellsworth’s trademark screech. And you can hear the bass too!
Interestingly, the one track I don’t particularly care for is the opener, “Time to Kill.” I’m sure it’s a perfectly fine tune, and it does have a cool intro with a sinster fade-up, but after that, it just does nothing for me. But immediately thereafter, the album picks up dramatically, with three top highlights in a row. “Elimination,” “I Hate,” and “Nothing to Die For” are every one pure rippage, with nonstop riffs, cuastic vocals and fast-but-steady drumming. Overkill has always been one of the less-serious thrash bands as far as lyrics content (Metallica, Slayer and Testament being at the somber end of the spectrum and Anthrax at the opposite), and this can be seen in the loser-hero anthem “I Hate,” wherein Ellsworth makes plain his distaste for rules, bosses, regulations, The Man, restrictions, his job (pumping gas), etc. “Nothing to Die For” features some melodic leadwork that smacks very much of classic Maiden (i.e. “Aces High”); this one is probaby the top riff here. Then we have “Playing with Spiders/Skullcrusher,”, a ten-minute exercise in Sabbath worship that I can easily picture echoing through some cave thousands of years ago. Music to stack boulders to! Then it’s back to the thrashing frenzy with “Birth of Tension.” The more mid-paced “Who Tends the Fire,” reminds us that Blitz can actually sing, and it’s just in time, as his phlegm-rattling shriek can get tiresome, especially when coupled with his occasional cartoon-evil phrasing. Closing out the album are the semi-ballad title track (a dark, brooding meditation on life on the road and its toll on the career musician), and the album’s most breakneck track, “E.Vil N.Ever D.Ies,” which starts with an ominous keyboard intro before snapping into a brain-bruising frenzy.
Overkill have always been the undisputed masters of the mid-song time-change, and nearly every song hear features at least one. All the shifts are incredibly abrupt yet very smooth, and guaranteed to catch the listener off-guard. Some of the best show up in “Wo Tends the Fire” (must be about three or four in this song), and “Nothing to Die For” (this one preceded by some almost funky bass licks). Overall, the only bad points are Blitz’s sometimes irritating voices and the occasional sameness of the riffs. Three tracks are over eight minutes long, which I personally don’t find especially necessary, but even so, they rarely bore. Finally, what the hell is with the razor-cut ending on the last track? Sounds almost like they ran out of recording time or tape. All in all though, an excellent ride from the second track on.
Best songs: “I Hate,” “Nothing to Die For”
Worst song: “Time to Kill”
Firehouse: Firehouse; 1990 (Epic)
Rating: 10.0
I can hear the groaning and sniggering already, and before the Aquanet/sspandex/mullet/glam-fag arrows start whistling through the air, let me assert to you: fuck off!
Now t hat I got that out of the way, let me further stress that this is NOT a glam album. Firehouse’s debut, and to a lesser extent its follow-up, are classics of early-’90’s commercial hard rock. There is none of the amateurism of a Poison, none of the cartoon-sleaze of a Roxx Gang, little of the cheesiness of a Warrant, and not as much of the emasculated play-for-the-chicks aesthetic of a Danger Danger. What we do have is heaviness like early Skid Row, matched with the pure catchiness of Whitesnake. Add in riffs and distortion that could slice your ears off and a singer who could (at the time) go from a gritty tenor to a a clear high-register scream at the drop of a hat, and we have ourselves a pop-metal masterpiece. Did it go double-platinum? Yes. Did it have three radio hits? Yes. Should that diminish it in any way? Hell no!
Admittedly, one of the few smears of Cheez Whiz is in the first song,”Rock On the Radio,” with its rather silly, program-director-stroking lyrics. It was cool at the time, but these days, I find myself cringeing just a little when the “Rock! Come on, everybody, let’s go!” line in the chorus rolls around. Great swaggering riff and heavy rhythm though, and CJ Snare’s wail is in top form, as it will be throughout the record.
I’ll get the radio hits out of the way first. “All She Wrote,” sounds like it could’ve been left of Dokken’s “Under Lock and Key.” In fact, themore I think about it, the closer it sounds to “In My Dreams.” Good song, however derivative it may be, and lots of pinch harmonics. For the unschooled, that’s the little guitar noise that goes “vwerp, vwerp.” “Don’t Treat Me Bad” is a smooth, acoustic-to-electric tune, with probably the most “commercial” chorus on the disc. Can’t help but have it stuck in your head all day long. Unless your into Cannibal Corpse, and then of course you’re going to think it’s dumb. And speaking of Cannibal Corpse, their fans will just love the one ballad on the album, the ubiquitous “Love Of a Lifetime.” As ballads go, it’s actually pretty good, and saved from the usual winces by the heavy guitar sound and the power of Snare’s vocals. (The band will reprise the song in a much-weaker near-carbon-copy called “When I Look Into Your Eyes” on their sophomore release.)
Although the singles are nothing to sneeze at, the real gems are scattered elsewhere through the album. The sex-and-cowbell-crazed “Shake and Tumble” sounds ready-made for strippers to dance to, with its leering lyrics (leerics!) and a riff that just sounds like it’s crawling into your pants. “Oughta Be a Law” swaggers along with another killer-riff, but the rhythm section really carries the tune. Nice clean-guitar intro, and then the harmonics start in. Vwerp! “Lovers’ Lane” has the sassiness of classic Van Halen andsome surprising double-bass. “Don’t Walk Away” is a slower, almost plodding bluesy number and probably the least poppy song on the album. The closing track, “Helpless” boasts one of the nastiest riffs in the bunch, and some more of Snare’s octave-leaping vocals (check out the part right before the sing-along chorus). And there’s even a short, classically-influenced acoustic piece, again, before the death-metal bands made those a staple of their albums.
There is some cheesiness in the lyrics, particularly on “Lovers’ Lane” and the good-ol’-days nostalgic trip of “Home Is Where the Heart Is.” But then, if it’s deep lyrics you’re after, there’s always R.E.M. to go with your soyburger and wheatgrass juice. Snare sometimes adopts a little of an annoying whine, but won’t descend into self-parody until later in the band’s career, when he will also lose a sizable portion of his soaring range.
Nothing to sneeze or sneer at here, folks. Anybody who likes Dokken, Ratt, early Skid Row or Whitesnake will eat this right up.
Best songs: ‘Shake and Tumble,” “Oughta Be a Law”
Worst song” If you want to call it a song, the instrumental “Seasons of Change”
Remember Fizzers and Fizzettes, go to my section of the boards to agree, disagree, or otherwise discuss these and any other albums you’d like to see covered here.
