BIG COCK: MotherLoad (Driver Wild Music)
By Fizz
Rating: 8.5
Holy shit! Talk about a band jinxing themselves with their choice of a name! These guys have Nashville Pussy beat! You'll have to tread very carefully when discussing this band, lest ye gentlemen give the wrong impression, or get a sexual-harassment suit slapped on you. Rest assured though, the band is most decidedly hetero, and it's all in good fun.
This band of wily veterans features Robert Mason of Lynch Mob/Cry Of Love replacement-singer fame, and guitarist David Henzerling, who used to go by the name David Michael Philips, who made a name for himself with King Kobra, Lizzy Borden and whoever else would have him. (Interesting note: he seldom spelled his pseudonym the same way twice on KK's albums. I just found that out, doing research to find out just how it WAS spelled.)
Shit, I lost my train of thought. That'll teach me. Back to Big Cock. The band makes boisterous, '80's-style hard rock with massive amounts of testosterone. I guess you could call this a hair-metal sound, but it's definitely at the more aggressive end of that spectrum, without losing its sense of fun, recalling Van Halen, AC/DC, lighthearted Guns n' Roses, and, not surprisingly, Lynch Mob and King Kobra, and the band KK morphed into, BulletBoys. In 2008, it sounds cliché to say it's refreshing to hear this style of music, since there are lots of bands doing it again nowadays. And that's a good thing, don't get me wrong. But it's refreshing to hear it done so well. There's a whole movement of young bands, many of them Swedish, doing sleazy glammish metal. But somehow, something's missing with a lot of these bands. Take America's own Dirty Penny, for example. They've got all the moves down, and their music certainly sounds like it could've been blaring from a Camaro on the Sunset Strip in 1989, but at the same time, the whole thing sounds like the guys in Dirty Penny (and many of the other young revivalists) spend all their free time studying and practicing their poses and thinking up glam names for themselves like "Binge Daniels" and "Nikki Twist". Something just seems contrived and forced about the whole thing. The guys in Big Cock not only got all the musical fundamentals squared away years ago, they apparently don't have time to make pouty faces in the mirror or experiment with new hairstyles. They're too busy riding around chasing women. Which is exactly what their music is best suited for.
MotherLoad is Big Cock's third album in as many years, and picks up pretty much where 2006's self-titled effort left off. The record delivers 35 more minutes of the same high-spirited, sex-crazed rock n' roll that has been the band's stock in trade since the beginning. The production is a bit slicker and less do-it-yourself-sounding, with big, booming drums and rumbling bass. The guitar tone is also noticeably heavier, especially on songs like "Get A Load Of Me" and "Breakin' My Balls". "Get A Load Of Me" starts things off with a thumping rhythm, and shamelessly bragging lyrics that would seem ridiculous if they weren't belted so convincingly by Mr. Mason. The guy comes off sounding a bit like a macho Ray Gillen, with a few Hagar-like mannerisms. It is his voice, coupled with Henzerling's huge power chords, that carry this band. It's really a great combination, and nearly every song on the disc is a highlight in some way or another.
"Stamina" continues the party (or is it an orgy?) with stop-and-start verses, and a surprise, double-time solo to spice things up, while "Breakin My Balls" reverts back to mid-paced cruise control, with an extra-crunchy riff, as Mason wails about a terminal case of blue balls. "Bump And Grind" and "Road To Ruin" romp along in solid, steady fashion. The former should be the next strip-club classic, while the latter takes a big chomp out of AC/DC's "Live Wire" for its intro, before veering off on its own for a live-fast-die-young road tale. "Live To Rock", complete with fake crowd noise, finds the band finally abandoning the bedroom (or the back lounge of the tour bus) for the big arena stage, pledging their undying devotion to rock n' roll with yet another fist-pumper.
Big Cock have always had a knack for innocent-sounding ballads that suddenly turn perverted, and MotherLoad is no exception, with the piano-based "Don't Ask Me To Be Faithful". The lyrics are your typical love-song fare until Mason croons, "The only thing I can do / Is promise to you / That I won't be true". More humorous lyrics about in "M.I.L.F.", an upbeat rocker in praise of older women, which, let's face it, isn't a topic often covered in rock songs. Best line: "I wanna push my shopping cart through your grocery store".
Oddly, the production values change noticeably with the last two songs, particularly the drum sound. "Feverish" is a sassy strut with a really cool bluesy breakdown in the middle. I wasn't sure I was going to like this song much at first, but it pulled me in. Finally, the disc ends with what the band has chosen as the first single, as though they're going to get much airplay with a name like Big Cock. Regardless, "Built For Speed" is an adrenaline-rush of a song, recalling classic Van Halen, and using the time-honored rock metaphor of cars and sex. All right, it's pretty cliché, but goddammit, it kicks ass!
And that's the great thing about Big Cock. Lots of bands try to be shocking or clever or overly sexual with their lyrics, but forget about writing good tunes to go with them. The lyrics here might make you cringe or smirk or blush (or sometimes all three in the same song), but the music is very well-written and undeniably contagious. Even the most tired or dumb lines don't seem so bad with music so damn entertaining. And it's great melodies, riffs galore, and irrepressible attitude that keep Big Cock from being a novelty band. That and the fact that they aren't trying to be a novelty band. The complete lack of irony is what makes Big Cock stand out, even among bands who proclaim to be irony-free but manage to sound ironic doing it.
I liked MotherLoad so much that I went and got their other two releases as well. Their 2005 debut Year Of The Cock is a little uneven, but contains some of the band's absolute best, essential songs. The 2006 self-titled sophomore effort is more consistent, and if you told me I could only keep one of the three, I'd have a hell of a time picking between the second album and MotherLoad. All three releases are right around the 35-minute mark, with most songs being about three minutes (guitar solos are frequent, but don't appear on every track), but the funny thing about that is, none of the discs FEEL especially short.
I heard an interview with Dave Henzerling recently, where he described Big Cock's music as "the soundtrack to somebody's summer vacation". That's just about the perfect description. So if you're looking for fun, rambunctious hard rock with strong melodies from a band that does the old school the way it should be, and you're not easily offended, you definitely have to give the "Hardest Band In The Land" a try. It's the aural equivalent of chasing a handful of Viagra with a double Jack and Coke, stripping naked and jumping into a swimming pool.
Best songs: "Get A Load Of Me", "Built For Speed"
Worst song: "Slave"
